2019 - Week 2 Recap

Week 2 Recap

Can you believe week 2 has already come and gone? Where does the time go? We'll all be old and lonely before we know it. Father time waits for no man. Life is flying by and it scares me deep into my bones. I lie awake at night pondering these things some times. Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh right football. Is it just me or have football games been kinda shitty this year? Maybe I'm just watching the wrong games. It's either shitty teams grinding it out against each other or a good team dropping a load on a bad team. I have yet to watch a truly competitive football game. Thank god there's fantasy, because our first recap was a down to wire nail biter.

Jono - 2 Girls 1 Kupp (1-1) vs Sak - Thielen Myself (0-2)

Jono needed heroics from Matt Ryan Sunday night to pull out the W and Matty Ice did just enough to make it happen. Giving Jono a 146.1 to 144.4 win over Sak. Ryan's 3 TDs and 3 INTs was precarious, any shift of the wind would have knocked down Jono's house of cards, but it just wasn't meant to be for Sak. Even though one of Jono's QBs gave him the win, his other QB, Big Ben, took a literal shit in his mouth by going onto IR for the rest of the season. Maybe even the rest of his career at this point. Jono still has Kyler Murray on his bench so he should be fine. His team is still pretty loaded with guys like Saquon, Kelce, and Godwin holding down his skills positions. If Watkins can give him week to week value, then he'll be in a very good spot, but Sammy's body of work does not inspire confidence. Sak's hit a jackpot in Lamar Jackson. So much so that he's looking to trade one of his other QBs in Goff and Stafford. He had a very balanced effort across his team with double digits coming in at every skill position. I made that sound nicer than it really is though, Thielen and Juju both scored only 10 points, which is a little lower than you'd want from your starters. This week's matchup was really anyone's game. Sak's probably pretty pissed at himself for not starting Aaron Jones and Calvin Ridley who are both languishing on his bench with 20+ points each. A couple of different decisions and he could have easily won.

River - Jabba the Chubb (2-0) vs Dylan - The Sixth Wentz (1-1)

First time team manager and league disruptor River is really showing us old fogies how Gen Z does it [insert Fortnite dance]. His unconventional approach of drafting only black dudes is paying off in spades. He's off to a hot 2-0 start after pummeling Dylan 161-107. Dylan is officially the lowest scoring team this week (thank you OBJ) after scoring over 180 last week. River's team got a tremendous boost from Patriots D who put up a fucking ridiculous 37 points. Fuck the Dolphins for tanking and ruining football. Any team that goes against them is now a prime candidate for DEF streaming. The rest of River's team put up a fairly balanced effort but nothing to call home about. Standouts include Russell Wilson (300 yds and 3 TDs) and Nick Chubb (17 pts). I predict a return to mediocrity next week without some bullshit Patriots vs Dolphins propping his team up. Dylan's team had more single digits than double digits this week. He did worse than Jono did last week, which is saying a lot. CMC came back down to Earth and and Mark Ingram only managed 47 yards on 13 attempts. And his home town hero bet of Desean Jackson left the game with an injury, putting up a big ol' goose egg before that. Dylan will have to reconsider his Eagles strategy after this week, but I bet he won't. Maybe he'll actually start Kenny Golladay next week, or maybe he'll let the 2nd coming of Megatron stay on the bench and put up another 20 points.

Mat - DeDell Hopkham Jr (0-2) vs Brent - Wanna be a Waller (2-0)

Two Faced Brent smiled to my face and shook my hand at the Raiders game and then proceeded to destroy my spirit with a 167-109 beatdown, Sun Tzu would have been proud. My team is ass so far. My QB's fucking suck. Cam Newton has turned into an old lady (see the picture circulating social media) and Kirk the Jerk Cousins looks worse than Case Keenum, but I've got more problems than that across the board. I almost scored less than Jono last week after talking all that shit, but thank god for OBJ. His career long 89 yard touchdown saved me from eating my words but did not save me from losing. I have 4 "stud" RBs. I started 3 of them. And the one I didn't start scored the most. This is going to be an ongoing problem for me. How would you pick 3 of Mack, Conner, Michel, and Gurley? Brent's team continues his domination from last week, Mahomes and Prescott combined to the be the best QB duo in our league. Henry and Zeke are legit bellcow backs. Ekeler is actually the highest scoring RB over the first 2 weeks. Even with Drew Brees going down for 6 weeks, Michael Thomas seems to be Teddy Bridgewater's favorite WR. Not much of a weakness across the board for Brent. Maybe besides his bench, who pretty much all scored single digits. If I was him, I'd start handcuffing some of my studs.

Justin - Antonio Clown (0-2) vs Mike - Gucci Garopp (2-0)

Mike is also off to a hot start going 2-0 with a pretty weak victory of 130-116 over Justin. Justin loses Drew Brees for 6 weeks to thumb surgery. Josh Allen is on his bench and actually put up a decent score of 22 this week, but he's still looking to trade for a QB, someone rip this dude off. His WR look pretty solid, Antonio Brown, that piece of shit, and Julio Jones are looking like the stars that they're supposed to be. But with only 1 QB producing this week and starting 2 TEs that combined for 1.2 points (OJ Howard: 0, TJ Hockenson: 1.2) there was no way for him to beat Mike. Well, except for starting the 3rd TE on his bench who scored 19.3 points. Yep, he dun fucked up. Is Mike's team good? Can I accept that reality? He scored the 5th highest total out of the 8 of us but escaped with a W. So for now, I will still delude myself and say that "No, his team is not good". Tom Brady had a rushing TD for him, what the fuck. And Baker looked better this week thanks to the Jets. Dalvin Cook is so fucking good, of course this happens after spending 2 years on my IR. I'm not sure what the take away is here other than Mike got a lucky match up and stole a win this week. It definitely isn't decision making. Christian Kirk (14.4), Emmanuel Sanders (23.2), and Tyler Boyd (17.2) were all left on his bench. He could have easily had 160+ points again this week with the right starts.